''I don't know why you're talking about Sweden,'' Bush said. ''They're the neutral one. They don't have an army.'' Lantos paused, a little shocked, and offered a gentlemanly reply: ''Mr. President, you may have thought that I said Switzerland. They're the ones that are historically neutral, without an army.'' Then Lantos mentioned, in a gracious aside, that the Swiss do have a tough national guard to protect the country in the event of invasion. Bush held to his view. ''No, no, it's Sweden that has no army.'' The room went silent, until someone changed the subject. A few weeks later, members of Congress and their spouses gathered with administration officials and other dignitaries for the White House Christmas party. The president saw Lantos and grabbed him by the shoulder. ''You were right,'' he said, with bonhomie. ''Sweden does have an army.''
Only fancy pants intellectuals take the time to memorize which of our allies have armies. Either that, or they just know it, because they're sharp like that. Back home, at the ranch in England, Tony Blair is beginning to smell like a shit-patty from Crawford, Texas. Several hundred British troops are being moved from southern Iraq to Baghdad, so that they can aide the United States in their takeover of Fallujah. Hot damn. And you know what? Kofi's still pissed. It's time for work...on Sunday. Gross. Volunteer on November 2nd. Seriously.