Mega What?

What the fuck is a megachurch, anyway? ...and why are people pissed that their local megachurch wont be open on Christmas day? It's gotta be hard when you come to the realization that your church is really just a moneymakin' machine that's simply too busy to deal with "the folks" on the holiest of holy days. Check out some of the convoluted reasoning and excuse making from good Christian's 'round this great country:

It is almost unheard of for a Christian church to cancel services on a Sunday, and opponents of the closures are accusing these congregations of bowing to secular culture. "This is a consumer mentality at work: `Let's not impose the church on people. Let's not make church in any way inconvenient,'" said David Wells, professor of history and systematic theology at Gordon-Conwell Theological Seminary, a leading evangelical school in Hamilton, Mass. "I think what this does is feed into the individualism that is found throughout American culture, where everyone does their own thing." -AP 12-06-05

I especially love the "bowing to secular culture" bit. That's why the churches will be closed, because the crazy fundies are FINALLY bowing down to us Separation-of-Church-and-State-ers. Right.

"It's a sign of how totally identified with the culture [evangelicals have] become," Bratt said. "The church has subordinated to cultural icons, and family is one of them. ... The logic of that is you should celebrate the holiday in its true sanctuary, which is the home." -The Christian Post 12-7-05

Love the logic. Embrace the logic. It's the nu-Christianity, complete with a team of marketing executives, a couple of Jumbotrons, and massive houses of worship....made of Diamonds and fetus-drippings. Check out Jeff Sharlet's "Soldiers of Christ" article from Harpers. It's just plain creepy. It almost makes me want to date a rich evangelical, just so I can keep it as a dirty, shameful secret. Happy Holy-Day, y'all.