Wednesday, June 1

Ohio unveils their Christian Taliban

I have this beef with Ohio that really didn't come to fruition until I moved to Seattle and met 18,326 Ohio transplants. Ohioans, not unlike Texans, are quite cavalier when it comes to state pride. Pardon me if I was left out of the circle, but what's so special about Ohio? Their highest point, Campbell Hill, is only 1550 feet, which is 7200 feet shorter than Texas' highest point, Guadalupe Peak. (Texas has the geographical advantage of being bigger 'n taller. Eat it.) Their state slogan is "The Heart Of It All," giving the rest of the country the false impression that it's the meaty, bloody center of our great nation. Actually, I think the slogan stemmed from the shape of the state, which is kind of shaped like a heart...I think. In Texas, our travel brochures proclaim: "It's Like A Whole Other Country," because it really is. I'm sure any other state with over 20 million people would be just as culturally diverse as the Lone Star State, but you'd think Ohio, with their 11 million+ could offer a little more than buckeyes, that stupid swallowtailed flag design, and a tainted Presidential election. Our motto is "Friendship," a broad, all encompassing abstract concept that has worked for our great state since 1895. "With God, All Things Are Possible" is the Ohio state motto. Sounds pretty marginalizing to me, which brings me to the latest scuttlebutt coming out of the Buckeye State: The Ohio Restoration Project. *Thanks to the Markos at the Daily Kos for the heads up* The Ohio Restoration Project's big plan includes: policy briefings for Ohio pastors in 8 target cities, featuring "prominent, dynamic Christian leaders." Patriot Pastors will be identified at these briefings. These pastors will "preach and inform their congregations on issues relevant to the Christian community." Then, they'll help build a network of addresses and emails just in case they have to "mobilize hundreds of thousands who are able to pray at a moment's notice."
Patriot Pastors will be encouraged to host non-partisan voter registration drives in their churches. Voter guides and inserts will be included during these voter drives, and people will be provided with literature from the Christian Coalition, the American Family Association, and the Center for Moral Clarity, because "informed voters appreciate these tools in discovering where candiates stand on the issues." Ambassador Alan Keyes, Jerry Falwell, James Dobson, Chuck Colson, Pat Robertson, Tony Perkins, Zell Miller, and Secretary of State Ken Blackwell will be asked to participate in Pastor Policy Briefings.
So there ya go, folks. Send the fine folks in the heartland a thank you card if you have the time. This gross politicization of religion should come with a hefty pricetag, like dropping the non-exempt status from mega-churches that plan to go along with this.
Seriously....Fuck you, Ohio.

1 comment:

magda flores said...

poor, poor lil backwards ohio. my thoughts (or should i say prayers) go out to you. till then i'll stick to texas where atleast we admit to our backwardness.